Why Hostess Declares Bankruptsy
by Vixen the Goddess Chevalier
Summary: This story is based off a review I got on Ulquiorra's Osession and Barragon's One Weakness. This story is also the sequel for Ulquiorra's Obsession and Barragon's One Weakness. Lot's of crack. Hope you enjoy.


Okay, this story is based because of a review I got for Ulquiorra's Obession and Barragon's One Weakness. It's the sequel for Ulquiorra's Obession and Barragon's One Weakness. Enjoy!

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Ulquiorra walked out of Kagome's house, munching on a Twinky. As he walked down the steps, a truck went by him. Ulquiorra blinked and his eyes widened as he saw the label on the truck: Hostess. He recognized the name from the box that Kagome had handed him a Twinky from. The fact that a Twinky was shown on the side of the truck only made it even more clear that this truck was the source of his beloved confection. Without stopping to think, Ulquiorra took off after the truck, shouting a single word.

"TWINKY!"

Ichigo blinked as he walked down a street, a few of his friends with him. They'd been ordered to find an extremely high concentration of Spiritual Energy, and so they were in the process of tracking it down. Renji, Rukia, and Yoruichi walked with him down the street. Uyru and Chad were with him as well. He raised an eyebrow as he heard a shout of "TWINKY!" Frowning, he looked at the five people with him.

"Is it just me, or did that sound like Ulquiorra?"

Renji and Rukia looked at Ichigo and nodded.

"I heard it too." Rukia said.

A Hostess truck passed by their position, with someone chasing after it. Another shout of "TWINKY!" made the six people look at the Twinky truck and the person chasing it. Sighing, Ichigo shook his head.

"Remind me to never watch the late night showing of 'How it's made' when the subject pertains to how Twinkies are immune to time... and to never drink sparkling cider and eat Rambutan late at night either."

Renji and Rukia blinked as a Gargantua opened up in front of them and Barragon stepped out of it, glaring at the Shinigami in front of him. Everyone immediately was on guard upon seeing the Septa Espada. Barragon glared back at them at them.

"Who said it?"

Everyone blinked.

"Who said what?" Rukia asked.

Barragon glared at her.

"Who said 'Twinkies are immune to time!'"

Ichigo opened his mouth to say it was him and to ask what had Barragon's pants twisted in a knot, but a shout of "TWINKY" echoed through the air, making Barragon blink and turn around. Barragon face palmed as he spotted Ulquiorra chasing the Twinky truck down the street and sighed.

"So he's been to see Kagome... Aizen was wondering where he disappeared to."

The six people blinked and looked at Barragon, a 'what the hell are you talking about' look on their faces. Seeing it, Barragon sighed and turned around, making his way up the steps to the shrine.  
"Come on. Might as well show you and get this over with."

The four Shinigami, one Quincy, and one human looked at each other before they quickly followed Barragon up the stairs. They were surprised to see a human coming out of the house at the top of the stairs, a young girl, and she was munching on a Twinky. She turned her head and spotted the seven guests, a smiling lighting up her face as she saw Barragon.

"Barragon! Nice to see you!"

The six following Barragon dropped their jaws. Here in front of them was the source of the spiritual energy they had been tracking. A human with an extremely high source of spiritual energy... and she was acting all buddy buddy with an Arrancar! Why the hell wasn't Barragon trying to devour her?! They blinked as they realized Barragon was glaring at the Twinky in her hand, but other then that, he wasn't doing anything. The girl looked at the six that had followed Barragon to her shrine and she bowed to them.

"Hello. My name is Kagome Higurashi. Can I help you with something?"

Barragon snorted, still glaring at the Twinky in her hand.

"Has Ulquiorra been here?"

When Kagome nodded, the six people that had followed Barragon fell to their asses, their mouths open as they started at her in shock. Kagome cocked a brow as she looked at them.

"He was here a little while ago. I gave him those Twinkies I promised him 500 years ago. Speaking of which..." Kagome smirked as she saw Barragon still glaring at her Twinky and she tossed it at him. "Still having problems killing Twinkies? Can't rot them, can you?"

Barragon growled and let the Twinky fall to the ground at his feet, gathering the black energy that was his Breath of Death and throwing it at the Twinky.

"Respira!"

And of course, nothing happened but the ground around the Twinky decaying and the Twinky sitting there unharmed. Ichigo, Rukia, Renji, Yoruichi, Uyru, and Chad watched with wide eyes as Barragon continued trying to kill the defenseless Twinky.

Ulquiorra smiled as he followed the truck all the way back to a factory. Once it had stopped and the people had abandoned the truck, he opened it, only to find there weren't any Twinkies in it. Frowning, he wondered where he could get his heavenly treat when he smelled something delicious, something he recognized as the scent of a Twinky. Eyes glowing with happiness, he followed the scent. The scent led him into the factory, and his eyes widened as he saw Twinky after Twinky rolling off the production line. His mouth began to water, and with a grin, he jumped down to the Twinkies already packed and ready for shipping and began to devour them. He could hear shouts of surprise from the workers as he ate the Twinkies, many of them wondering how the Twinkies were 'mysteriously hovering and vanishing'. Once he was done eating the stash, Ulquiorra looked around before climbing on the conveyer belt and beginning to munch on Twinky after Twinky, pac-man style.

"Twinky!"

The workers stood around, amazed as the Twinkies disappeared. One even went to get the manager. Ulquiorra devoured every Twinky the factory was producing and soon all the Twinkies on the belts were gone. Looking around, Ulquiorra spotted the last few Twinkies in the factory. Smiling, he made his way over to them and began to polish them off. Pulling his sword free as he munched on the last few Twinkies, Ulquiorra sliced a hole in the wall and made an exit for himself. As he left, munching the last Twinky, he managed to hear something about Bankruptcy from one of the humans, but he didn't pay any attention to it. He was too absorbed in his Twinky.


End file.
